If there is one thing I've learned thus far in my Yoga Teacher Training, it's how much I don't know. Not only in Yoga, but in life. I have been broken open as far as thinking that my knowledge is enough. It is just a beginning of a long journey of unlearning what I thought was "right" and settling in to being comfortable in the unknown. This is a process I can't quite wrap my mind around yet, but feel in my heart and soul is true. I once heard a statement (from Marianne Williamson I believe), "In my defenselessness, my safety lies." Every time I repeat this mantra, I feel a little more at peace. I no longer feel the need to fight or defend, to argue or debate, to compete or have the desire to win. I have been through enough trauma and pain for this lifetime, to continue to beat myself up as I have. I just want to be open and absorb the good things left in this world- the simple things. Sunrises, sunsets, true friendship, genuine love, honesty at any cost, learning to love myself after years of being my own worst enemy- these are the things that matter most to me now.
"You can enter yoga, or the path of yoga, only when you are totally frustrated with your own mind as it is. If you are still hoping that you can gain something through your mind, yoga is not for you."